Coming Home
by Krissy09
Summary: Castiel returns to his father's home to become the town doctor, after fifteen years. He struggles with his past and can't seem to let go of his high school love. Will he finally move on from Dean Winchester or will he be brought back under the man's spell. Will love overcome or finally crumble at their feet. AU. rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural.**

**AN: I have worked on this for a while but I wasn't sure if I should post it or not. I have overcame my fears and decided what the hell. Please review. There is more to come that I already have written. Enjoy! Beta'd by TheAngelsHaveTheFandoms.**

* * *

**Chapter One **

**Coming Home**

It's been fifteen years since Castiel Novak left his father's home in Colby County, Georgia. Fifteen long years of fighting against the green eyes that broke him. He always told himself that he was stronger than his father, but in reality he was just as weak, hiding from a ghost that haunted his memories. However, unlike his father, he didn't leave at the first chance. He stayed until it was time to start school at Columbia, and he didn't stay away for 25 years. He would come back for important holidays and events and sometimes during the summer. He hasn't talked to Dean Winchester since his father's wedding night, but he saw him everywhere. He was truly haunted. But a lot has happened in fifteen years and he had shed the identity that he picked up in Colby. He was no longer the teenager that followed his best friend around like a lost puppy. He was a new man. He was now Dr. Castiel Novak MD. He was a general surgeon, but truly loved family practice.

His first few years back in New York were hard, so he drowned his pain with physical pain. He started with a few piercings. His lip, tongue, and two in his right ear. He became friends with the guy, Benny Lafitte, who did his piercings and Castiel let him talk him into getting his first tattoo. He settled on a full set of angel wings. The base started at the end of his shoulder blades and fanned out, tipping out down his arms and around his sides, and had a fantastic black shade on them. They were magnificent and even looked real, like they could pop off his back and lift him into the air. He loved the sting and burn from the needle and later had sleeves done on both arms. He let Benny design them with only a few opinions from Castiel. The only color in any of it was an emerald green ribbon that wrapped around his right arm. Benny did a great job adding it to the design. When he asked Castiel about it all he would tell Benny that it was a reminder.

Castiel was a Psychology Major with pre med classes. After four years at Columbia he was accepted into Harvard medical school and graduated not far from the top of his class. He put everything he had in him into his school. He had a few girlfriends and he had Benny for a few years, and this law student while he was in medical school, with beautiful green eyes that reminded him of Dean's. But try as he may, he could never make anything work.

His father, Chuck, called him about six months ago when the doctor in town had announced that he planned on retiring and that the town would need a new doctor in the next year or two. Chuck wanted his son to come home and the town needed a doctor, so why not Cas? He told Chuck that he would have to think about it. And he did. It wasn't an easy decision, but he chose to come back.

He sighed as he pulled on to the familiar road heading back to Shadow Grove; forty minutes later he was pulling into the Novak Manor drive way. It was still just as beautiful and old fashion as it had been sixteen years ago when he and his father pulled in for the first time.

Castiel sat beside father in the back of an airport taxi as it pulled onto a long red clay road that led to the Novak's family manor. The manor was a beautiful house built before the civil war. It was a two story plantation home with an overhang supported by four strong pillars and a porch and balcony. It seemed like it demanded its own respect. It sat behind two rows of old majestic oak trees. Castiel couldn't help but think that they had stepped into "Gone with the Wind" or something.

Castiel smiled at the memory that was playing in his mind. He was miserable that summer, but it was by far his best year in high school. He drove around to the back of the house. His father had done some remodeling on the house, and the car port had been expanded. Thank God he thought there was no way he was going to leave his 2015 Bentley Continental GT sitting out unprotected. She may be almost ten years old but she cost more than a small home. He took pride in her. She was a spectacular silver that shimmered in the sunlight a little dusty now thanks to the dirt roads and no rain. He felt his stomach hit the floor boards as he pulled up to the car port and noticed a black 1967 Chevy Impala sitting in the empty spot. "Son of a bitch" he cursed quietly. Fifteen years of randomly coming home and the day he moves back Dean just so happens to be here. Maybe I should just leave go down the road and wait for Dean to leave. But as the thought crossed his mind he reminded himself that he was a damn Novak, and Novak's do not run from ex-whatever they had been because they don't want to face them. He checked his reflection in the mirror. "As good as it's gonna get" he said, trying to get his unruly bed head to lie somewhat flat. "Might as well get this over with" he finished as he pulled himself out of the car and walked up to the house.

It hadn't changed much from the last time he was here. He figured that what had, he could accredit Ellen for. He loved the charm his stepmother brought to the place. He walked through the foray headed toward the voices coming from the living room. He paused a second as he heard an all too familiar hearty chuckle ring out from the room. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Just breathe, Castiel. He told himself over and over slowly walking the last few steps to the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Dean heard Jo's voice ring out an excited "Cas", and could almost feel the wind from the speed she had getting to the door. She wrapped her arms around the figure standing in the doorway, a figure that Dean had not seen in fifteen years, besides in old treasured pictures. All Dean could do was stare at him as Cas began to wiggle in the death grip that the petite blond had on him. He watched as Cas's arms wrapped around Jo and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

As Jo stepped back Dean got a real look at his love from senior year. He certainly wasn't the teenage boy that Dean remembered so well. Instead, there stood a man in an expensive tailored looking suit. Dean noticed the two rings in his right ear and one in his middle of his bottom lip. He was sporting a not too scruffy face and the same uncontrollable dark bed head hair. Dean almost dreaded the moment that Cas's soul piercing blue eyes would meet his own.

Dean watched as everyone in the room took turns greeting Cas. "Hey Son, we didn't know you were coming back today. Thought it was gonna be the weekend before you got out here." Dean heard Chuck tell his son, throwing a worried look between him Dean. Ellen was next, kissing her steps son's cheek. She was followed by Jo's fiancé, Gabe, who also happened to be Cas's cousin. Last was Sam, who clearly could not control his excitement of seeing Cas after so many years.

Dean sat in his place on the couch, unsure of what to do to. He wasn't even sure that Cas wanted to see him, but maybe time had brought a sense of forgiveness, and maybe after fifteen years they could be friends. That thought lasted for about ten seconds as Dean looked back up at Cas, who had a stony glare on him "Hello Dean" he heard Cas say in the same rough, manly voice that he had finally grew into. "Hi Cas," Dean managed to finally say, although weakly. "Sammy, I think it's time for us to leave. Let's give them time see each other, and I need to get Ben. Can't leave that boy alone for too long." He pulled himself up off the couch and over to the door. "It's good to see you again, buddy." Dean said as he patted Cas on the back

"Don't touch me, Dean." Cas hissed through his teeth.

"Of course" Dean mumbled as he walked away, holding his head slightly lower than usual.

* * *

Sam followed behind his brother wondering what the hell he had just witnessed. Dean and Cas had been so close the year Cas was with them. He couldn't figure out why they had been so tense. Sam figured Dean would have been thrilled to see Cas. He had spent every weekend of his senior year with the man, and now he couldn't even look at him. And Cas, hell, Cas just seemed furious to been in the same room as Dean. And the look on Cas's face when Dean just lightly patted his back looked like he could have punched a hole in Dean's face. Sam was missing a very big puzzle piece, and he needed to know what it was.

* * *

Dean waited on his brother to get to the car so they could get the hell away from there. This wasn't how today was meant to go, Sammy had begged him to come over with him and watch the game with Ellen, Chuck, Gabe and Jo. It never crossed his mind that Cas might come back today. There was talk around town that Cas was coming back to be the new town doctor, but the old doc still had about six months before he retired. As much as Dean wanted to get the hell out of there, the seventeen year old buried inside of him wanted to go grab Cas by the back of the neck and kiss him until they couldn't think straight. But Dean was sure all that would give was a black eye and quite possibly a divorce. He glanced down at the gold band around his ring finger. Twelve years of marriage was a lot to throw away over a reckless moment. Dean sighed as Sam climbed into the impala, and he had the impala in reverse before Sam's door was even completely closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Home Coming**

"So Cas why didn't you let us know you were coming home early we could have avoided that little almost disaster." said a pretty brunette with a small pout on her face.

"I wanted to surprise my family, Ellen" He replied sound extremely irritated. "so umm is the cabin been checked on recently or should I take a shotgun with me. It was a long drive and now I really just want to be alone for a minute."

"Yeah um Cas," Jo said looking at the floor "me and Gabe have kinda been using the cabin. I mean I know it's yours so we can totally move back in here if you want us too."

"It's fine Jo. I'll just stay upstairs. I'm gonna go lay down for a while. Maybe we can go to the diner for dinner tonight." He said with a small very fake smile, and walked the familiar path up the stairs and to the first door on the right. He opened the door and headed over to the king size bed in the middle of his old room. He threw himself down ad closed his eyes, wishing he had stuck to plan and waited to come home.

Downstairs a conversation began about the tense homecoming that Cas had just received. Gabe had sat there confused about the scene between Dean and Cas from all that he heard they were inseparable back in the day "What the hell happened?" he asked out loud.

Jo spoke first "Well back in high school Dean and Cas were a lot more that just friends but Dean refused to tell anyone."-

"Hell I don't even think Sam knows anything about it." Chuck interrupted.

"Well like I said he refused to go public with Cas and at the end of the summer at mom's and Chucks wedding Cas gave Dean a choice. He could walk out with Cas and let everyone know that they loved each other or when he left for school he wouldn't come back, which he did just never for Dean. When he did come back he stayed here most of the time." Jo finished.

"So I'm guessing Dean would rather keep in manly-macho status then to come out for Cas?"

"Yeah" Ellen said "and that's not even the worst part he brought Lisa to the wedding as his date. He wouldn't even look at Cas. I can still see the hurt on that poor boys face. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen."

* * *

Dean was glad when he finally got home. Dean knew that if Cas was coming back then he would have to see him eventually but he wasn't planning on seeing him the moment he got into town. Holy shit. He couldn't get the image of the man that Cas had grown into out of his head. He groaned and walked over the fridge to grab a beer. Ugh could this day possibly get any worse Dean thought. He walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch, beside Ben, and propped his feet up on the coffee table. He tried to fight back the memories that started popping in his mind like the first time he has saw Cas.

_It was the first day of their senior year at Colby County High School; everyone was excited to get a glimpse of the Novak boy who had been in town all summer with only a few people to actually confirm it. A cherry red brand new looking Camaro pulled into the student parking lot grabbing everyone's attention including Dean's. They watched a slender but not skinny boy with a mess of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, wearing mostly black, step out of the red car. Dean couldn't take his eyes off of him. He watched as he walked through the group of students and headed to the school, his head held high with a slight hint of cockiness in his step. Dean was mesmerized. He knew at that moment that he would know who the Novak boy was he was going to do whatever it took to become a part of his life._

_His plans were made easier when Jo pulled him into their homeroom class and noticed the same boy sitting in the back corner of the room; apparently Jo had seen him too. "Come on Dean lets go make a new friend" She said pulling in the direction of the blue eyed boy. That's just what they did by the end of the week it seemed like Cas had always been there. He fit in perfect with Jo and Sammy and even with Dean's girlfriend Lisa_.

Dean hadn't even realized he was smiling, a very large smile, until Lisa shook his shoulder a little and asked "What's got you in such a good mood baby?"

"Hmmmm? Oh nothing. How was work?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"It was great saw your mom today she wants us to meet her and John at Ellen's tonight, in about 45 minutes." She added.

So forty-five minutes later they sat at Ellen's diner, taking turns talking and laughing at something one of them had said. And for a few minutes Dean forgot about the awkward meeting he had with the man that haunted most of his dreams. That was until the past walked right through the diner's door. Ellen and Chuck walked in first then Gabe and Jo followed by a magnificent sight that was Cas, not his Cas, but damn look at him. He stood in the door way looking around wearing a pair of jeans that hugged every curve in an impossible snugness, a black button up shirt that seemed to show off the toneness of the man, leaving the top two button undone Dean could see the pale skin of his chest, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing off two very tattooed arms. Dean tried to hide the bulge growing in his pants as he looked at his grown up ex lover.

It was Lisa's voice that brought him back to reality. It was then that he realized he was starring at an empty doorway. "Dean… hello Dean I said isn't that Castiel Novak? Did you know he was back?"

"Umm yeah Lisa" Dean said pulling his eyes away from the door. "Yeah I saw him earlier at the manor, with Sam and them."

"Well, why don't you go say hey?" John asked.

"Nah Dad he just drove from New York he probably just wants to be with his family."

"Well Dean you used to be a part of that family. Y'all were always together." Mary said concerned about the look on her son's face as he glanced over at the table Cas and his family were sitting and laughing at something Gabe had said.

"Yeah I know mom but fifteen years along time, people change." He said almost in pain. _**Why does it hurt so much after fifteen years? Why can't he just be a stranger again? Why? Because he's Cas you dumbass he loved you everything about you and you walked away because you were scared, hell you still are.**_ He answered the questions being thrown around in his head. He felt Lisa's hand grab a hold of hand for second just for comfort but it almost seemed foreign to him like it wasn't the hand he had held every day for years. He saw Cas get up and walk outside alone. Dean took his chance. "I'll be back in a minute." He said following Cas out the door.

* * *

Cas needed a smoke. He couldn't deal with Dean sitting across the diner staring at him. He wasn't sure how much more he could take today. So he excused himself and walked outside and to the side of building hoping he could disappear into the shadows alone for at least a few minutes. Of course Cas couldn't get that lucky today he noticed the ding of the diner door open as he turned the corner. **_Please don't be Dean. Please don't be Dean._ **So naturally it was Dean. "You know smoking kills right?" he heard Dean say.

"Yes Dean but I could get hit while driving my car but that doesn't mean I'm gonna park her." Cas said sarcastically.

"Good point I guess."

"What do you want Dean I came out here to get out of your eye sight not so you could follow me."

"Come on Cas can we at least try to be civil around each other. I've missed my friend."-

"Oh yeah I forgot that's all I was, wasn't it and no Dean I have no interest in being your friend. Hell I don't have any intent on talking to you after tonight. Leave me alone Dean." They were both so wrapped up in each other's eyes that they didn't notice the lack of person space between them until Dean leaned in enough to close the distant between their lips. It was a short kiss that made them both forget why Cas was so mad at Dean until the kiss was interrupted by a very hard fist landing on Dean's cheek. "Don't ever touch me again Dean" Cas said backing up until he was propping up against the side of the building. He didn't think his voice was as shaky as it was until it came out.

"Cas I'm sorry I didn't mean"-

"Shut up"

"Hey guys" they both looked at the tall figure standing not realizing that they were being watched.

"How long you been there Sammy?"

"Dammit Dean I'm a grown man its Sam. So what's going in here?"

"Sam, answer me. How long have you been standing there?" Dean asked his brother again. Cas could hear the nervous tone in his rough voice. Of course he thought to himself. Sam didn't even know. Dean talked to Sam about everything. Well maybe not everything since he clearly had no idea about what he walked in on.

Cas couldn't take it anymore he looked away from Sam and back at dean. "Are you fucking serious right now? Sam doesn't even know?"

"What don't I know Cas?"

"That I was your brother's dirty little secret that he locked away in his proverbial closet. Wow Dean. I meant what I said, don't ever touch me again." Cas couldn't stand to be that close to anymore so he walked toward Sam "It was good seeing you Sam, have a nice night."

* * *

Inside the diner Jo Ellen Chuck and Gabe watched as Dean followed after Cas. "This cannot end well." Gabe said. "I saw the way Cassie was looking at him earlier. He looked like he could punch a hole through Dean's face. Are we really just sitting in here and let God knows what happen out there?"

"Yes Gabe we are." Ellen said with a scary firmness in her voice. "Dean deserves whatever Cas does to him."

They sat in silence after that thinking of what was going on outside the diner, occasionally looking at the door waiting on Dean or Cas to come back in. After a few minutes of waiting they saw Cas pull out much to fast in his Bentley. "Oh shit" Chuck said maybe a little too loud, considering the entire diner was now staring in their direction.

* * *

"Dean, please tell me that you didn't have a sexual relationship with one of your only true guy friends and then kept him a secret?" It had been a long time since Dean had heard the tone of voice that Sam was talking to him in right now, hell about fifteen years when he showed up at Ellen's wedding with Lisa.

"I'm not talking about this Sam just keep your mouth shut. Ok?"

"Dean what the hell is wrong with you? How could you do that to him? Hell everyone could tell that he liked you but you actually liked him back Dean and Y'all were together and he let you… God! Dean what did you do. No wonder he left. You were never going to tell anybody, were you? Hell fifteen years later and I still didn't find out from you. What the hell?" Sam kept his eyes on Dean the hold time he was talking. Dean could see the disappointment shining in his eyes. He watched as Sam turned away and walked inside.

* * *

Sam walked inside to meet up with his parents but saw Jo, Ellen, Chuck, and Gabe sitting at a table looking at each other with worried expressions on their faces watching the door. He walked over to his parents "I'll be right back I need to talk to Jo real quick." He told them and walked over to Jo's table and sat in the empty chair that Cas had previously been in. "Did y'all know?" he asked in a low voice looking around the table. "Cas left after I interrupted them in the ally well I got there as Cas was backing up and punched Dean in the face. Hard. Then Cas decided that fifteen years was a long time to be locked in Dean's proverbial closet and told me that they were… well you know… together." The table just looked at Sam not sure as to where to start.

Gabe said something first. "Well if it makes you feel any better I didn't know until earlier today."

"It was almost impossible for me not to know that they…. were...well….umm... together." Chuck finally managed "They weren't exactly… you know... quite."

"Wait Jo weren't you and Cas together a lot of senior year?"

"Not really the first date was real then he explained that he needed to work out some feeling he had for someone else and I knew it was Dean. So we did all the big events in high school together after they got together so no one would think anything of Dean and Cas spending so much time together. Cas is my best friend and he loved Dean so I did what I could and I had the hottest guy on my arm for everything so I was happy."

"I made him realize that he did feel something for Dean I didn't want Jo to be hurt by Cas so I told him before he started anything with Jo he needed to figure out what he felt for Dean. I didn't think Dean would do that to Cas but he did." The Diner door dinged again and Dean finally walked in with a bruise forming underneath his left eye. Sam felt a tang of pity as he looked into his brothers clearly devastated face.

"Holy shit" the table said together.


	4. Chapter 4

**this story is unbetaed and any mostakes are my own. i would like to thank everyone who followed or favorited this story. thanks a bunch. **

**Disclaimer: i dont own supernatural **

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**Chapter Four**

Cas knew just where to head. A few years ago Ellen invested in a bar on the out skirts of town, and Ash, a friend from high school, was currently working there. Maybe tonight could be salvaged. It had been a long time since the last time he had gotten completely shitfaced, but tonight seemed as good of a night as any. As he pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse and smiled as he noticed that it was mostly empty. Great he thought let's get this pity trip on the road. He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to Jo. I**'m gonna need a ride at closing time tonight bring Gabe not leaving my car at the roadhouse. I'll give Ash the keys get them from him because I plan on not knowing who you are in a few hours love ya!** He didn't wait for her to text back and he knew that Jo would not be happy about drowning this horrible day in a bottle of Jack but damn he needed to so fuck what Jo thought. He got out and locked his car. There was a tall man rocking a mullet standing behind the bar when Cas walked in, "Hey bro" he called "When did you get back didn't think you'd be here until Friday."

"Hey Ash… decided to come back early. Starting to see where that wasn't the best idea."

"Ah well what can I get you?"

"The strongest you have and keep them coming. Oh here" He said holding his keys out to Ash, "I texted Jo and Gabe to come pick me up at closing time." Cas said.

"So buddy you want to tell me what made your homecoming so bad that you want to forget it?" Ash asked his long time friend. "This isn't like you to drown your problems."

"Maybe not but I'm up for trying to night." He said downing the shot of whiskey. It burned going down his throat but it was just what he needed. He was staring in the reflection of the mirror that lined the back wall behind the bar. Ash was right Cas knew that this was not how to handle his problem but he needed to forget. Dean had kissed him, or hell maybe he had kissed Dean. Cas wasn't sure how they had gotten so close together. Cas was pissed. He just wanted to get out of sight of the startling green eyes that bore into him. He couldn't handle being under that gaze anymore so he walked out. He never thought that Dean would get up from his family and follow him out. Then they were arguing never breaking eye contact until they kissed. God why did that happen? How did that happen? It was not suppose to happen and then Sam came up after he had punched Dean. Oh god he had never hurt Dean before Dean had always done the hurting. He couldn't believe that Dean had never told Sam, so he did. He told Sam about his older brothers past very gay relationship. He couldn't believe that he hadn't told Sam. He had never told anyone but at that moment he wanted Sam to know. Hell a part of him, a big part still wanted to tell everyone, every little dirty detail of his and Dean's past. He wanted to rub it in Lisa's face that he once made Dean scream and moan his name. Cas was on his fifth shot before he knew it. He was starting to relax, to feel good, maybe until the door opened and he looked into the reflection of the same green eyes that had been everywhere all day. Cas' gazed moved from the tantalizing green eyes to the rest of the face the belonged to, he could see a bruise forming where he had punched Dean he couldn't control the small grin that crossed his face "Oh you have fucking kidding me." He turned his attention to Ash "Hey buddy hit me up with some more and leave the bottle, this day just got so much worse."

_**Dammit**_, Dean scolded himself; _**you should have realized that was his fucking car. How many other people live in this town that can afford a 200,000 dollar car? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Well hell what's the worse that he could, hit me again?**_A voice a little deeper in his mind told him what the worse thing Cas could do. He could tell everyone just like he had told Sam. He still could believe that Cas did that maybe he should just go sit down beside him and try to talk this out. Yeah that's what he would do just talk to the guy. "Hey Cas." He said weakly "I didn't realize that was your car I'm sorry. It seems like we had the same plan on how to end the night."

"Really Dean how many people in this backwoods town do you think could afford that car? Just leave me alone OK?" Cas said pouring himself another drink.

"No Cas we need to talk please ten minutes and I'll leave you alone just ten minutes Cas." He wasn't sure why he wanted to talk to Cas so bad. Hell he didn't even know what he would say but that kiss damn it brought everything back, all Dean knew was that he wanted Cas in his life. He needed to have Cas back maybe not as what they were before but he needed Cas, more than anything including Lisa.

"There's nothing to talk about Dean fifteen years is a long time there is absolutely nothing that you can say that will make me want to talk to you. You still don't get it do you?"

"Dammit Cas come talk to me and make me get it please. What could ten minutes hurt? c'mon buddy." Dean laid his hand on his shoulder he tried not to but he could help it. He felt Cas flinch underneath the weight of his hand.

"If I talk to you, will you please, for the love of god, stop fucking touching me Dean."

"Yes Cas. Ash can I get a beer? Come on let's get a more private booth." Dean got up and Cas followed him over to the far corner of the bar.

* * *

They sat on opposite sides of each other looking at each other Dean could see the aggravation on Cas's face. He looked adorable Dean thought well if guys could look adorable with piercing and tattoos could. Dean dropped his eyes from Cas's face over his chest and to his arms. Damn those arms those beautiful tattooed arms. It all seemed to be in black all but a random green ribbon that wove through the design and disappeared under his sleeve. Cas broke the silence first "Dean your time is ticking away so what's so important that you had to tell me?" Dean watched as Cas took another shot and refilled his tumbler. Hell at this rate Cas wasn't gonna remember what he said anyway so tell the truth.

"Damn Cas I don't even know where to begin I am so sorry for everything… What's the green on your arm mean?"

Cas was already regretting following Dean, maybe the alcohol was affecting his judgment, hell of course it was why else would he be sitting across from Dean in a back booth listening to him apologize for something he didn't seem to sorry about. "Cas, did you hear me?"

"It's a reminder Dean." he answered quickly hoping that Dean would let it go. Dean had to choose the one thing that was about him to comment on.

"What kinda reminder?" Dean asked taking a gulp of the beer that Ash had just brought over.

"A reminder Dean, one that reminds me that there are people like you everywhere that only care about themselves. It's a reminder to never love anyone like you ever again and I haven't. I have never found another straight guy that I wanted to be with."

"Oh" Dean said his face dropping into sadness. "Can we please try to be friends Cas? We were friends before anything else and this is a small town. And I'm pretty sure the doctor and the deputy are going to have to work together at some point in time so why can't we be friendly?"

"I have gone fifteen years without being your friend Dean you made your choice, and I had to live with it." Cas said taking another shot. Thank God the whiskey was starting to work, he could feel his head getting fuzzy and he was really starting to relax so he let of the anger for just a minute and confronted his ghost. "Dean you married her. You are raising a kid that's not yours and the whole reason you turned to me. I loved you more than anything I worshiped you I was willing to do anything to keep you. Hell I did do anything and you hide me away ashamed of what we were." Cas hadn't realized he was crying until the tears collected on the bottom of his chin. "And after months of you hiding me away I told you that it was either me in the public or no me at all. And you chose by throwing Lisa in my face, at my dad's wedding. I told you I would leave and I did. I might be back but Dean it doesn't change anything. Yes when I have to deal with you as a doctor I will and I will be professional but out here when I'm not at doctor leave me alone because the only thing that will make want to be around you at all is if you decide that after fifteen years you care enough to not keep me a secret."

"Cas, that's not fair. Why can't we just start over and be friends I won't make another move on you or anything but telling people about us might cost me my family, Lisa could leave and take Ben. He might not be mine Cas but he's mine son I've been there for everything. Cas please."

"Dean, I'm done. I know you, still after fifteen years. I knew you'd never tell anyone about me so that's why I said it. You're still the same scared little boy that you always have been. Goodbye Dean." Cas got up from the table, grabbing his bottle and glass, and walked back over to the bar he was still not drunk enough yet so he kept filling the shot glass. The fuzzier his brain got the better he felt. He knew Dean, Dean Winchester would never come out as anything other than a complete heterosexual asshole. The drunker he got the more he could feel Dean's eyes watching him from the corner booth. **_Dammit why can't he just look somewhere else?_**

* * *

Dean couldn't believe that Cas had asked to put everything on the line to just be his friend. Hell it wasn't like he wanted to sleep with Cas again. It's not like he had asked to be secret fuck buddies or anything. He just wanted to be Cas' friend nothing hidden or forbidden. He wasn't trying to stare at Cas it just kinda happened he saw Cas down shot after shot. Then Dean notice Cas stir to stand up. He turned and looked at Dean waited for moment seeming to having a hard time deciding what to do, the he started taking steps toward the booth that Dean was sitting at. Cas slid back into the booth and looked at Dean, very unhappily. "Can you please tell me why you think it necessary to continually stare at me?"

"I… um… I don't mean…to...Cas it's just that I donno… you look so different then you did…you know… back before you left." He stammered out taking a big gulp of his fourth beer. Dean tired not to notice how confident Cas seemed to be with half a bottle of whisky rushing through his system. He had seemed so confident all day but this was almost arrogant a lot like he had been in high school. Cas was beginning to act more like the teenager that Dean cared so much about, the teenager that haunted his dreams most nights.

Dean notice Cas lean over the table as he whispered in a husky raw voice. "Well take a picture it will last longer. And if you don't want people to know that I was ever what I was then it might be a good idea for you to keep the longing stares to a minimum." All Dean could think of was closing the distance between them, to feel Cas' lips beneath his own again. He leaned closer keeping his eyes on Cas, and then stopped himself, remembering where he was. He was sitting here with Cas in a very public place.

"I'm gonna go get some air." Dean said rushing to get up. He didn't think he could get to the door fast enough. He looked back once to see Cas sitting there alone looking at Dean with his head tilted slightly to the side. Dean wondered if Cas had wanted him to close the distance and claim him again. Of course he did. Kissing him in public was more than telling everyone that fifteen years ago he loved a boy. He opened the door and walked out into the crispness of a March Georgia night. Jesus Christ what's wrong with him. This goes so far beyond just admitting to a past relationship if he kissed Cas again tonight then he wouldn't be able to stop and he had Lisa to think about. What was he doing? He walked over to the front wall of the bar and slid down to the ground. He pulled his knees up to his chest and laid his head between them. He sat there and let his thoughts run through his head and they landed on the first time, well not the first time but Dean counted it as the first time, that Cas had kissed him. Dean of course was too messed up by how he felt to make the first move. It also happened to be the day he found out about Lisa getting pregnant while she was at her grandmothers in Valdosta over the summer. He let memory fill his mind and come full focused.

_Cas threw Ash his keys and said "take everyone home after school ill pick it up later "C'mon Dean give me your keys and get in I won't hurt your precious baby." Dean did as Cas said and walked over to the passenger door of his beloved black impala and climbed in not saying a word. Dean sat there thinking about Lisa. God how could he have not seen it. She hadn't really wanted to be around Dean since she came back but it never crossed his mind that she had cheated on him. Of course the only girl he had ever really cared about since Cassie in sixth grade would cheat on him, not that he could be that upset that she cheated on him with what he had done, but what the fuck. The more he thought the madder he seemed to get and it was like Cas could sense that. They had gotten really closed in the past few months. Dean had even spent the night a few times always waking up with Cas wrapped in his arms. Yeah that had been led to a few awkward morning. And then there was that other night but he didn't talk about that, Cas reached over and placed his and on Dean's leg nothing intimate or anything just for comfort. It gave Dean a sense of peace. He could feel the calmness coming over him in an effect that only Cas managed to have on him. Lisa might have betrayed him but he now had Cas and somehow he knew that Cas wouldn't betray him. He had quickly become Dean's best friend and Dean loved it. Sometimes he thought that he loved Cas but then he would remind himself that he was straight and the only thing he felt was friendship. He tricked himself into thinking that the reason he felt so strongly for Cas was that Cas was his best male friend, Cas had surpassed Ash a few weeks ago and Sam was his brother so he didn't really count. He was thinking the whole time Cas was driving to his house. When Cas pulled into the carport, he got out and Dean followed._

_Inside Dean walked straight up the stairs to Cas's room, and flopped down on the king sized bed in the middle of the white room. It seemed like forever before Cas came up holding a beer and a coke in one hand and in the other what appeared to be a pie. Yeah Cas knew him that well. Cas walked over to him and held out the beer to Dean. Cas, sat down beside dean, on the other side of the bed and placed a cherry pie between them with two forks. All Dean could do was smile, and Cas mirrored it with a beautiful flash of white teeth and his eyes lighting up with the smile. It was an amazing sight that Dean loved. Okay so maybe he did really like Cas like maybe more than a friend should like another friend. Dean could see that Cas knew he didn't feel like talking so he grabbed the remote and put on some lame crime drama show. Half way through the pie and Dean started felling a lot better; he was smiling with Cas at random insane commercials. Then the show came back on to these two guys walking up to a body in the middle of the night wearing shades "Douche bags" both Cas and Dean said at the same time. They both fell over into the middle of the bed toward each other laughing as hard as they could both almost on the brink of tears. Until Dean caught Cas's gaze and he was stilled into silence by the piercing blue eyes of his best friend's eyes. Jesus Christ those were some blue eyes. Cas had stopped laughing too and they were staring at each other, so close that Dean could feel Cas breath on his face. Dean's eyes involuntary flicked to Cas's lips then back to his eyes, a movement that Cas didn't miss, slowly as to give Dean warning as to what he was about to do. He began closing the small distance between them pausing for a quick moment just inches away from Deans mouth. Dean didn't move, he couldn't, he sat there looking at the bright blue eyes wanting nothing more than what was about to happen. Cas closed the distance and Dean's eyes fell shut. It was simple kiss, not one full of lust or raw hunger just a sweet simple kiss, that let the other know they felt about each other and that was that._

Dean was stirred out of his memory by a figure kneeling in front of him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey folks! someone anyone please give me just one review. I need to know what people think. I'm not above begging! PLEASE!**

**disclaimer: I don't own supernatural or its characters. **

**I apologize for any mistakes. They are all mine. This story is unbetaed**

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**Chapter five**

Cas looked down at Dean sitting on the ground. He had never seen Dean looking so venerable. "Come on Dean" Cas said placing his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean looked up and met his eyes. Cas could see the pain gathering in those beautiful green eyes. _**Maybe he is genuine. Maybe he does want to make amends**. _Cas reached out and grabbed Dean's hand to help the man off the ground. With the alcohol pushing through his body, all the anger that Cas had felt since he pulled into his house today was gone, well maybe not completely gone. It was still there just not as front and center. Cas felt sympathy for his old friend, standing in front of him with years of regret shining through his almost teary eyes. "Let's go back in" without saying a word Dean followed Cas back inside the bar. They walked over to the booth they had shared earlier it was getting close to closing time but Ash wouldn't kick them out like he did the others. Dean sat down on one side with Cas sliding in on the other. "Do you need Ash to call Lisa or someone? Jo and Gabe are coming to pick me up at closing. Gabe can take you home if you're ok with leaving your baby here." Cas could see Dean tense up at the thought of leaving his baby in the parking lot. Cas had never really understood Dean's obsession with the impala, but had learned the hard way not to insult 'her'. _The first week of school Cas had made the comment about her being a "big black hunk of metal". Cas could see the effort it took for Dean not to hit him, needless to say that Cas never even almost thought of talking trash about 'her' again. _"Or maybe Gabe can drive you home and Jo can follow to bring him back here to get the other car. It's up to you, really, but I don't think you need to drive after all that you've had to drink. Or drive, whatever, I've seen you drive drunker so whatever you want." Cas rambled.

Dean just looked at him, maybe it was the beer or maybe he was completely drained, he wasn't quite sure but Dean wanted to talk to Cas. He wasn't sure where to start but Cas had been friendly the past few minutes so maybe Cas was drunk enough to drop his guard. The words started falling out of his mouth, skipping any filter from his brain to his mouth. "Fuck Cas, I didn't think I'd see you again. I mean yeah there'd been rumors that you were coming back but you hadn't came back in fifteen years and I couldn't get an answer out of anyone, maybe because no one liked me when it came to you. I understand why and everything, but, Jesus fucking Christ, Cas I didn't know that you were coming home today and I didn't know that you'd be at the diner or here. I'm so sorry Cas, God I'm sorry for everything all of it up to right now and I should probably stop talking but you can't imagine how much I've missed you and I know that I have no right to. But when I saw you today it was like everything started coming back, everything that I have kept pushing down for so long came rushing back up to the surface and I wasn't… I'm not… I'm not sure how to deal with you being back. I feel like a teenager again scared to talk to you." He looked at Cas who looked torn between doing a number of things one that included punching Dean again. **_Please let him be drunk enough to accept the apology._**

"Is that supposed to make up for it all? Do I fall back in line behind the king of Colby High hoping that I get to see your eyes light up the way they did when it was just you and me. Tell me Dean, what do you want from me and I did come back, Dean, every year. I can back for holidays and a week or so over summer and do you want to know what I did most of the time? I stayed in my room hoping that Jo or Gabe or Ellen would let it slip that I was back and you would burst into my room or the cabin looking for me. Telling me that I didn't fall helplessly in love with a man who was ashamed of me and that you would admit that the past years had been a mistake that you loved me, not Lisa. That bringing her to the wedding was your biggest regret because you didn't choose me but it never happened and I know it's not going to now. I know that when we were seventeen I loved you more than anyone should ever love someone. I know that I had you held so high above me that you were looking down on me in public and it seemed to be ok. I worshiped you. I would have gotten on my knees and praised you if you only asked. I was addicted to you, to everything that you were. I loved you so much that I couldn't see what was happening to me. I thought that you were a kid scared of his sexuality. I mean I knew that I was the first guy that anything ever happened with but I thought that maybe it would just take time but you were ashamed of me, completely, and I adored you. So no Dean you do not get to apologize like you didn't rip me apart and watch as I fell. I would have given up everything for you, and you failed me." Either Cas or Dean had noticed that they had an audience of three standing behind them, watching their display. Cas also hadn't realized that he was crying again until Dean reached over and brushed the tears off his cheeks.

Jo, Gabe and Ash stood there not wanting to interrupt their talk but maybe they needed to before Dean did something that they both might regret in the sober morning light. However none of the three acted fast enough before Dean placed his hands that were just wiping the tears from the broken man's face sitting in front of him, on Cas cheeks and pulled him closer to him.

Dean knew that this was a bad idea that Cas had just bared his hurt to Dean but all Dean wanted to do was to make it all better. Maybe this wasn't the best way but Dean needed to feel Cas's lips again. He prayed that this time he didn't get hit but he knew that Cas had every right too. Dean's mind stopped working when their lips finally met. Cas didn't pull away this time but deepened the kiss licking his tongue against Deans bottom lips, Dean moaned into the action and granted Cas access to his mouth. It all seemed so familiar, like this is how they were meant to be, together. Until they heard a cough coming from behind them and turned to see Jo, Ash and Gabe standing awkwardly behind them.

An even more awkward silence fell between the five; Dean still had his hand on Cas's cheeks. Cas wasn't sure how that had happened but God it felt like home, to be there with Dean. Cas pushed Dean's hand away and looked at him "Please Dean stop doing that, please." He begged Dean with nothing but sadness and hurt in his voice. He didn't give Dean a chance to respond before getting up and walking out to Jo's car and climbed in the back seat. He hadn't felt so lost in a long time. He was no longer sure that he could stay in Colby with Dean being here. What was he thinking coming back? He should've stayed in New York and continue to move forward, instead of coming back here and getting sucked into the past again.


	6. Chapter 6

**I would like to thank superwhopotterlock072601 for the review and I hope this is soon enough. Reviews make me very happy. :). I would also like to thank the 8 followers and the 4 favorites. Getting emails from fanfic absolutely makes my day! Again please take the time to tell me what you think. I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I decided to break it up into two parts. I'm sorry for any mistake this isn't beated and i'm almost half asleep proof reading this.**

**I would like to point out that this is just now the ending of day one of Castiel being back in Colby. and that I have no idea if this is an actual county in Georgia or not but I like to keep to my roots and i'm a Ga peach so if its real awesome, if not it is in my head. **

**so welcome everyone to the imaginary town of Shadow Grove in Colby County, Georgia. Population 8 plus the characters, whom I do not own by the way. **

**I hope you enjoy your stay.**

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**Chapter Six**

Dean sat at the bar with Ash until he finished sobering up. Cas had left maybe thirty minutes ago and Dean could still feel his lips. Ash paused where he was sweeping and looked at Dean. "I'm not gonna say anything about what I saw but Dean don't you think you have hurt him enough, with what you did in high school. I don't know the whole story but I know enough to know that you need to just leave him alone."

"What if I can't Ash?" Dean asked seriously, looking at Ash like He had all the answers for Dean.

"Then you need to choose between him and Lisa, because it's not just Cas you will be hurting this time, but Lisa and Ben too. Think about it and don't put them through this shit. You made your choice now live with them and get the fuck out of my bar." Ash said kicking him out.

"I know," Dean mumbled standing up from the bar and walking out the door, stepping into the crisp March air.

It was almost four in the morning when Dean pulled into his driveway, his mind playing the day over and over. When he made it to his room he stood at the side of his bed watching his wife sleep soundly, he couldn't help the question that repeating itself. **_Did you make a mistake? _**As he lay down he felt Lisa cuddling up to him, _**what would she think if she knew? Would she take Ben and leave?** The thoughts kept running through his head until his brain screamed at him,** This has to stop.**__ **You are Dean fucking Winchester, and you will not lose your family over a guy you hadn't seen in fifteen fucking**_** years.** Even as theses thought overpowered his mind from somewhere he heard the voice of his seventeen year old self, that had loved everything about Cas and almost hated everything that Lisa was._ **So what if you never kissed her like that. Who cares if your secretly miserable, dreaming about a boy who you still love.**_ Dean sighed as pressed the balls of his hand into his eyes. This was just something that he would have to live with. He'd have to be ok around Cas. He could do this and he could leave Cas in the past, or so he hoped.

* * *

Gabe and Jo had to help Cas up the stairs and to his bed. "Jesus Cas what did you?" Jo said more to world than to Cas.

"I don't know," he mumbled a response anyway.

He flopped face down on his bed, wishing this day had never happened, that he was still lying in his bed in New York. He felt the bed dip beside him and turned to look at his stepsister. Her face was covered in a worried frown. "You can't do this to yourself. Do you know how much of that bottled you finished before we showed up?" She asked him, sounding so much like her mother.

"Most of it, I presume."

"All of it. One day of being around him and you've drank a bottle of whiskey and kissed him at least one." Cas sighed out a 'twice', making Jo sigh in turn, "That doesn't make it any better. Oh and lets not forget that you gave him a black eye." Jo looked down to her lap before placing a hand on Cas' back and continuing, "I'm beyond happy that you came back but this is gonna kill you before you even get used to being back."

"It was just one night Jo. I promise you that this will not happen again, no more bottles of Jack in one setting and I have all intentions to keep myself away from Dean.

"Okay,"she said getting up and walking to the door, "Goodnight Cas," she said before pulling the door shut and heading to the cabin with Gabe.

Cas rolled over and pulled off his shoes and black button up, before settling back into his bed. He began thinking over what Jo had just said and he knew without a doubt that she was right, hell, she usually is.

He pulled his thoughts together as much as he could and determinedly said in a low whisper, "I chose to come home. This is what I want and Dean fucking Winchester isn't going to take that away from me."

He decided that he would do just what he planned on doing when he drove down here. He would become the best damn doctor that this one horse town has ever seen. He would live his life here in Colby County and not worry about Dean. His life didn't involve Dean; it hadn't for a long time so he would be fine. He would be great… He would be fucking fantastic...

He hoped.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone this will be the last chapter until I can find a beta. I have asked a few and haven't heard anything back. If anyone reading this, would like to be my beta that would be awesome. Just PM. If it takes longer than three weeks I will continue without one. I would like to thank all the lovelies that have stayed with the story. Oh and a thanks to Keri(Guest) for the review. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. Please! Please! Please!**

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Cas woke up the next morning with a pounding head and an upset stomach, but today was a new day. Cas knew what he was going to do and the first thing was going to see the Dr. Frank Devereaux. Shortly after getting dressed and ready, he stood in front of a two story brick house, painted white, with an awful green color trim. It looked like it was built around the 50's. _**Well let's get this new life started**_. He walked in the front door and over to a large desk that set in the center of the very small waiting room, where a pretty redhead sat reading Harry Potter. Cas let out a small chuckle and she looked up from the book. "I'm here to see Dr. Devereaux." He said to her in the most charming voice he had.

"Can I let him know who's here?" she asked taking in the stranger's appearance.

"Castiel Novak." Cas watched as the redheads face lit up with a smile.

"You're Dr. Novak?" She asked in a shocked tone. "I'm sorry. We weren't expecting you until Monday. But it's nice to meet you I'm Charlie. I'm the secretary. Jess is the nurse but she in the back come on and I'll take you to Frank." she stood taking in the new doctor's appearance. Cas stood there in a tailored black pinstripe suit. He tried to tame his mess of hair this morning but hadn't seceded very well so it still looked like he had just gotten out of bed. She led him up the stairs at the back of the house and up to the second story. "Frank is in his office. We have two so I guess this will be yours until Frank retires in a few months." She said opening the first door to the right. Cas looked in to see a simple room with a desk sitting in the middle with two chairs in front of it and a few bookshelves around the room bushed back against the wall. Some he could see contained old medical books. "This is franks office" she said leaving Cas to walk over to the next door and knocked on it. "Hey Frank Castiel Novak is here early." She stepped aside and let Cas in the room.

"Hello sir. I hope I'm not imposing by coming in early" Cas said stretching his arm toward the older man in greeting.

"Naw son its fine. We only have a few people coming in today so it'll be great we can get you used to the ropes." Frank stood shaking Cas hand, firmly. Cas looked at the older man standing in front of him. He looked maybe in his late sixties with thick rimmed glasses and very grey neat hair. He was wearing a white button down unbuttoned showing off the white undershirt tucked into dark blue jeans.

Cas spent the rest of his day getting to know his new coworkers. He truly liked Charlie she was a spirited girl with a personality as bright as her hair. She was like the female version of Ash. She was a mastermind with computers. He meets Jess, Jessica Moore, later that day she was sweet and friendly. She seemed kinda shy but Cas liked her too. Frank was so far from what Cas was expecting, he was slightly paranoid of the government. He was extremely good with technology considering his age, and even told Cas that he self diagnosed himself with "bipolar with delusional ideations." Cas was looking forward to the next day now. He could do this. Dean who?

* * *

Dean sat on the edge of the bed running his fingers through his hair. He got up and jumped in the shower. He knew that last night needed to be forgotten, so that's what he did. He got up and got ready for work. He walked down stairs to find Sam sitting with Lisa and Ben at the table. "Morning love" he said kissing Lisa. He tried to pretend he couldn't tell the difference between her and Cas. The only reason that the kiss with Cas was so explosive was because it was forbidden that it not because he cared more about Cas than Lisa. _**She is your wife and you love her. Cas was an experiment ten years ago. You loved your wife,**_ he told himself.

"Good morning Baby. I didn't hear you come in last night. Did you have fun at the roadhouse?" Lisa asked. She wasn't sure why Dean's old friend returning affected him so much but it did. So she gave him his space. She had learned many years ago that Cas was a subject that she didn't talk about. She thought back to the first year they were together after high school. Dean never talked about their senior year and Lisa always thought that it was because of her betrayal.

_They had moved in together a few months ago and it was great. Dean treated Ben like he was his and they never talked about his real father. He was just some guy in Valdosta with a leather jacket and a couple of scars. She was doing laundry one day and found deans wallet in a pair of jeans. She looked inside to find a few pictures of her and Ben, She noticed the worn corner of a piece of paper so she was curious so she pulled it out to and it was a picture of Dean and Cas. She knew they were at Cas's and it looked like pictures from their senior Prom. Dean looked beyond happy. He was smiling the biggest brightest smile she had ever seen on the man and even in the old picture she seen a small light in his eyes. She never knew this man. Cas looked just as happy and he seemed to elbowing Dean in the side looking up at the taller boy. She slid the picture back and finished with the clothes. Later that night she was lying beside Dean in bed and couldn't help herself. "Do you ever talk to Cas?" She watched Dean as his faint smile disappeared and a hurt angry glow grew in his eyes. He looked at her like she had just slapped him._

_"No I haven't. Not since before he left." That was all that he said. Then he rolled away from Lisa and ignored her for the rest of the night. She realized then that she shouldn't talk about Cas. Dean woke up the next morning still in a bad mood and didn't speak to Lisa before he went to work. She never made that mistake again._

Lisa was brought back to the present by Sam asking what she was to scared to. "Jo said that Cas was there last night did you see him?"

"Yeah Sammy I saw him."

"Did you give him another reason to leave you with a black eye?"

"Shut up Sam" Dean threatened. He wasn't up for dealing with his brother today.

"I meant to ask you where the black eye came from last night. Cas hit you?" Lisa knew she shouldn't but she was dying to know and Sam had brought up Cas so she couldn't be blamed for curiosity.

"Yeah baby we had a small disagreement."—

-"A small disagreement is that what we are calling that?"

Dean could feel his anger bubbling up. He needed to calm down he knew that but Sam was pissing him off. "Yes Sam that's what it was. A… Small… Disagreement…" He turned his attention to Ben for a minute "Be good today son. I'll see you tonight" he said ruffling Ben's hair, causing the teenager to grumble and start fussing with his hair. Dean smiled at his walked over to Lisa and gave her another chaste kiss "have a good day, baby." He turned and walked out.

Work was completely uneventful. He sat at a speed trap on the edge of town. He hated being in this damn car but Jody did the last one and his Dad, the sheriff, refused to do them, so it was his turn. He sat in the same place for hours before the boredom got the best of him. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Inside of it he tugged on the worn corner of the photo. In his 32 years this was by far his favorite picture ever. This wasn't the first time he has pulled out the faded picture. For a long time after Cas left he pulled it out every day, sometimes multiple times a day. He looked down at the Cas he knew, his overly confident best friend. Dean might have been the king of Colby High but Cas was the King of York Prep. He thought back to the first time Castiel became Cas.

_Jo had talked Castile into coming to the first practice. She was a cheerleader, along with Lisa, so she practiced on the side of the football field, where Dean practiced. It became routine for Cas, Sam and Ash to follow them to practice. One day Lisa was out, Ash took a very sick Jo home, and Sam had to stay after in the library. So it was just Dean and Cas. "You still coming to practice Cas?" Dean asked._

_"Yeah… you called me Cas?" Cas said with a small frown._

_"Yeah is that a problem? I mean Castiel is kinda a mouthful and I kinda shortened it a few days ago talking to Jo and Sammy." Dean said a little worried. He loosened up when he saw a smile grow on Cas's face._

_"No one's ever given me a nickname before. I had friends in New York but I think they were maybe too scared to be that casual with me." Cas said feeling a little awkward._

_"Scared? Jesus Cas what are you part of the mob or something?" Dean said with a small chuckle then dropping his face into a serious frown. "Cas were you a bully?" Dean watched a Cas's face lit up with laughter._

_"Dean. You do realize… that you asked that like being… a high school bully… was so much… worse than being part… of a mafia." He was laughing so hard by now that he could barely breathe. "No… Dean I was neither… I was their king, much like you are, but with more power. I could make you or ruined you just as easily as just saying how I felt about you. I even had a small amount of power over the teachers. And I was only a junior then." Dean looked at Cas for moment watching his face change. His laughing had calmed and face had fallen some. Until he looked up at a smiling Dean, Dean watched as a sweet small smile crept back on to the pretty boy's face. "Thank you Dean."_

Dean sighed and placed the picture back in his wallet and decided that he had been there long enough. After calling into his Dad, he drove away from the spot in the horrible cruiser that he absolutely hated, only because he couldn't use his baby.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Everyone sorry for such a long wait. Hopefully I will be able to update more often now that all the movings done. here is chapter 8 and maybe an unexpected surprise. let me know what you think. all reviews are awesome. and a thanks for the reviews to Aleandri, EmmaGraceWinchester, and Momo42. **

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**Chapter Eight**

Dean drove up on a truck with a broken brake light. Dean flipped on his lights, the truck pulled over and Dean followed it onto the side of the road. It was an old truck early '90's maybe. It truly was hideous. He walked up to the truck and the guy driving was completely average. "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over today?"

"Naw, not really," The man said with a slight southern drawl sounded like maybe from Louisiana, with a touch of Cajun.

"Well you got a busted brake light." Dean said. "License and registration please."

"Sure thing, brother." He said digging around for a minute before handing Dean the requested papers. Dean took them and walked back to his car. Benny Lafitte, he reads, Clayton Louisiana. He walks back to the truck, hands Benny his papers back and gave him a warning, telling him he needed to get it fixed.

"I was actually wondering if you could help me I'm looking for Castiel Novak, heard he came home. I'm guessing your Dean Winchester so maybe you can help me…"-

-"How do you know who I am?" Dean asked a bit surprised.

"Cassie had a picture of you in his wallet about ten years ago, and then there's them pretty green eyes you got. I have to say I did good matching the color. Do you know where he is?"

"Umm try the diner on Main. Ellen runs it; she's his stepmom so she might know."

"Thanks." Dean heard as he walked back to his car. _**What is Cas's Tattoo artist doing here and who the hell calls him Cassie, other than Gabe? Oh well not my problem**__._

* * *

Cas walks into Ellen's. Today had been a good day. He could see himself in working at the office with Charlie and Jess. He was looking forward to this now. He sits down at the bar and to wait while Ellen is talking to stranger in a black old fisherman's hat and a black pea coat. _**Is that Benny? No… Benny wouldn't be here. But wait that voice you knew that voice**__. _"Benny?" Cas asked with a slight hesitation. The man turned to face Cas. _**Oh sweet Jesus.**_ "Benny what are you doing here?" Cas was trying to keep his voice even and trying not to let the excitement he felt, at seeing his dear friend, show.

"Kinda thought that was obvious Cassie. Didn't come here for the pie. I wanted to see my best customer."-

"Wait you did Cas's tattoos. O hell you're amazing." Jo interrupted as she came over to see what Cas wanted. "What you want bro?" she asked Cas, like she didn't already have it written down.

"You must be Jo. And here I thought you were pretty at 17."

"How do you know what I looked at 17?" she asked.

"Cassie here was very proud of his prom date that later became his sister." Cas blushed at Jo.

She was his proof in college, when he needed it, that he did have a girl back home Benny was the only one that knew any different for certain.

"Chicken club with curly fries." Cas said to Jo changing the subject. "So Benny why did you come here? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, because damn man you look good. Getting a little old though. Look at that grey." Cas reached up to Benny's facial hair and rubbed his hand over it.

"I got into some trouble in Louisiana. You said you were coming back home so decided I'd come see you." Benny said letting his accent take over.

"What kinda trouble Benny? I will not hide you from the law."

"Not legal trouble" Benny chuckled "I met this woman, Andrea Kormos, and she was amazing. Beautiful. Rich. Sexy as hell. Thought I spend the rest of my time with her. Turns out that she had an old man. A rich powerful old man. I didn't know about him until I already fell for her. She told me but we still didn't stop. Then the old man found out and threatened to put a hit on me if I didn't leave Louisiana. New York wasn't the same after you left so why go back there. But to change the subject. How'd lover boy get that black eye?"

"What?" Cas spitted as he choked on the coke in he had just tried to swallow.

Benny patted him on the back. "Guessing you had something to do with that?"

"… Yes…" Cas managed between coughs. "But not lover boy. He has a wife and where did you see him at?"

"Oh he pulled me over for a broken brake light about two hours ago. I took a guess that there weren't too many men that looked like model with those green eyes named Winchester in this town, so I asked."

"What did you ask Benny?" Cas asked sounding like he was about to have a panic attack.

"Calm down Cassie. I guessed his name then asked if he knew where I might you and he sent me here. Where I met your very lovely stepmother and now Jo. So there's Ash, Sam and your dad left right?"

"Yes Benny where are you staying at?"

"Umm a motel, I guess.

"Nonsense" Ellen said over the counter placing Ca's food in front of him. "We have two spare rooms. You can stay at the house."

"Thanks Ellen." Benny said flashing her a million dollar smile. "I've missed you Cassie" he said as Ellen walked away. "I think that might have been why I came here, instead of anywhere else. I was headed to Maine when I got your last email. I was already so close, I couldn't not come see you." He placed a hand on Cas's knee, waiting to see what Cas did.

Cas placed a hand over Benny's and gave him a soft smile. "I'm glad that you came." Benny leaded over and caught Cas's lips with his own. A few people gasped around the diner but there was one that Cas heard more than the rest. Cas pulled back and looked at the door to see Dean standing there, still in his deputy uniform. _**Damn that's hot**_**.**

Cas looked up until their eyes met across the diner. His attention was drawn back when Benny whispered "Well I guess not everyone in here knew you like boys."

Cas threw his head back and laughed. "I guess not," Cas said before pulling Benny back into a kiss.

"So you wanna tell me what happened to pretty boy's face?" Benny asked Cas again not realizing that Dean was now standing behind him.

"Guess that why you call him Cassie huh?" Dean almost growled.

"What's the matter Deany-boy upset that it was me Cassie was kissing and not you?" Benny sneered.

"Shut the fuck up." Dean really growled this time in a very threatening animalistic way, like a territorial wolf.

_**What the fuck was his problem**_ Cas thought. "Come on Benny. I'll take you home." Cas tossed some money on the counter for Jo and led Benny outside by the hand.

"He still loves you Cassie." Benny told him after they left the diner.

"Follow me." Cas said looking back at Benny standing by his beat up truck. Cas climbed in his own out of place car and drove off toward his house.


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter is un-beta'd for now. I want to thank angels182 for the review, the 21 followers and the 10 favorites. Y'all are awesome. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Nine**

As the days turned into months they grew longer and hotter. Summer was here. Benny had gotten a job working with Bobby out at his salvage yard. Cas and Benny had started dating again, things were great. They were a true couple. Benny didn't try to hid Cas, infact he showed him off with pride. Their hand were alway interlocked or Benny would have an arm around him. Some form of affection was always showed. They would sit in the living room on lazy days, when they were both home together, and watch movies and share popcorn, more often than not Cas would end up feeding Benny piece by piece. Jo had told them multiple times, in a loving playfully way, that they were disgustingly cute together. Cas would always smile and throw a handful of popcorn at her, before returning to feed his man.

Cas kept his distance from Dean and so far had only had to work with him once. It was a nasty tractor incident that thankfully was not fatal. Cas could get to the man before the ambulance, from the city over, could. They were respectable to each other and did what they were paid to do, keeping everything professional.

Frank decided to retired early, after Cas got the feel for the office. Cas enjoyed being the town's doctor. He enjoyed interacting with the kids and parents, getting to know the townspeople again. Most of the people he had meet here while a senior, now had kids and families. Some however seemed exactly the same as they had in high school. He was happy with his choice to come back.

He sat in his new office thinking about how much Frank needed a new a chair, when Charlie knocked on the door. "Hey we have a patient. Dean's pretty messed up by the looks of it but didn't think he needed to go to the hospital."

Cas got up with small sigh and followed Charlie to the exam room that Jess was in. "My God Dean what the fuck did you do?" Cas looked to see Dean sitting in a chair with his right arm laid across the exam bed, with his hand and arm covered in blood and a white, well what was once white, towel wrapped around his arm.

"Me and Baby had a small mishap," was all Dean said looking up at Cas.

"Alright well Jess have you looked at it yet?"

"No, Mr. Winchester here," kicking his foot to show him in another way that she was mad at her boyfriend's brother, "refused to let me look at it." She said almost pissy. Jess was a great nurse, but she was hell in heels if you pissed her off. "He said that he would only let you. Then he threatened to leave and do it himself if I tried to touch him," she sighed.

Cas chuckled, "Thank you Jess. Could you go get everything to clean him up please?" Turning back to Dean he grabbed the stool and rolled it over to in front of Dean. "Alright let me see." He said gently unwrapping the towel from Dean's arm. "Jesus Dean how did you do this?" Cas asked looking at the four inch gash on the inside of his arm.

"Well I was working on Baby and was distracted and pulled my arm the wrong way getting it caught in the motor."

"You've never been distracted working on Baby." Cas said looking back at Dean's face.

"Well I was today okay Cas. Sometimes I get distracted ok. It happens" Dean snapped at Cas. "Can you just fix this? It fucking hurts."

As if on cue, Jess brought in what Cas needed to get started. "Thanks Jess." He said to her as she turned to walk back out. "So Dean what distracted you?" Cas asked while he started cleaning the wound.

"Today's just been a bad day for a long time. I thought working on her would get everything off my mind, like it usually does but it didn't today so…" Dean hissed as Cas added the disinfectant to his arm. "Fuck…"

"What's wrong with today?" Cas said checking to make sure the wound was clean. "You're gonna need stitches Dean."

"Ok and today's just a day I made a choice a long time ago that I sorta regret… Fuck Cas…"he said as Cas started stitching him up.

"What do you sorta regret?" Cas asked concentrating in his work.

"I took the wrong person to a special event."

Cas stopped stitching up his arm long enough to look at Dean. "Oh… I hadn't realized what today was… sorry for prying." Cas looked back down and finished the last stitch. He wrapped a bandage around Dean's arm.

As he finished Dean laid his hand on Cas's that was still on his arm. "I miss you Cas. It's terrible having you in the same town. I'm doing my best not so see you because I know that you don't want to be around me. I thought of going into Monticello, to the hospital, but you couldn't refuse to see me here."

"If you keep up with the chick flick moments, people might think that you're gay." Cas huffed. "But yeah, I know, I miss you too Dean I always have. Benny helps though. He keeps my mind off you. He kind of replaces the friendship I had with you here. I'm glad he came. I would be very lonely if he hadn't…" Cas looked down at Dean's hand that was still holding his to Dean's arm. "Dean please let go of my hand now."

Dean let go and dropped his eyes to the floor removing his hand "You don't have to be alone Cas. We could be friends." He said barely more than a whisper.

"Change the bandage every day and come back in next week to let me check it. Take Tylenol that should be enough for the pain. If not come see me." Cas said professionally disregarding Dean's last remark.

Cas wanted to be around Dean but it was too much. There was still too many feeling that he didn't want to feel when he was around the man. He tried as hard as he could to forget how it felt when Dean touched him or when he would stand so close behind him that his breath tickled the back of Cas's neck. He wanted to hate the man that sat in front of him, with fresh stitches, but he couldn't. If Cas was being honest with himself, which he decided that he wasn't, then he stilled loved Dean as much as he had the day he left for New York. Cas left the office for the day after he got done with Dean. He needed a break. He hated how much Dean still affected him.

1023

Later that night Cas sat on his bed in his dad's house, thinking about everything that had happened in that room. He didn't often let his mind wander when he sat in here but tonight he didn't seem to be able to control it he thought about the first time Dean had spent the night here.

_Dean sat on Cas's bed while Cas was at his desk. They had sat like that for a while, doing homework or well Cas was. Dean was propped up on the headrest throwing a wadded up ball of paper that was an English assignment into the air and catching it again. "Hey Cas" Dean called to him as he started closing his books "Did you hear that?"_

"_Hear what Dean?" he responded._

"_That thud. You didn't hear it?" he asked gathering his books and partially done homework. "I think it's time I get home your house kinda creeps me out at night."_

_Cas chuckled at his friend "Why does my house creep you out Dean? It's just a house that's it"-_

_-"A grand house that was built before the civil war, that according to legend… during Sherman's March to the sea he stopped in Shadow Grove. Sherman and a few high ranking generals stayed inside this house with a hundred or so soldiers on the grounds around here. By this time old man Novak had freed most of his slaves but there was a Family that stayed here. They refused to leave. They liked the Novak's and here they had a good place to live." Cas looked at Dean a bit confused. Dean smiled and said "I'll explain that when I'm done… While Sherman slept something happened to four soldiers that were on duty guarding the front door. The next morning they were dead. No reason at all. They couldn't find anything that might have killed them. It was said that a young man that belonged to freed family that stayed had been seen around the front porch late the night before…" Dean paused. "It's said that before Sherman left he had his men find him and later that day a young man named Andre was hung from one of the oak trees out front. He was around 17. While Sherman was here they took everything that was valuable and sat the house on fire. The living room and library were burnt along with this room and the next, before it was put out." He looked at a somewhat pale Cas and decided to tell him all he knew. "There's also the story of Abigail, the voodoo priestess saving Bonni Novak's life using dark magic but it wasn't proved. Old man Rufus swears it wasn't dark but have you been inside your old groundskeeper's house?"-_

_-"Yeah I have been in Rufus's cabin he explained the books and odd markings and everything he said that the Turners and Novak's were bound together or something. That the doctor said there wasn't anything that he could do for her. So Daniel Novak turned to Abigail and she saved her but wouldn't tell anyone how." Cas said thinking back on the conversation he had with Rufus Turner over the summer in the cabin that the Turner's had lived in since the civil war._

"_Yeah well it's said that Andre was Abigail's oldest son. The town believed that he cursed the soldiers that night. Every Turner that has died since Abigail saved Bonni has been buried within the private Novak Family plot, including Andre. Abigail is in the mausoleum beside Bonni. It's said that on quite starless nights four soldiers can be seen on the porch and Andre hanging in an old oak."_

"_Thank you Dean for that lovely history lesson" Cas said playfully shoving Dean out the door._

_1023_

_Cas sat up straight with a strangled scream caught in his throat. "Fuck" he mumbled grabbing his phone it was just a bit after midnight. It was Dean's fault he was awake so he decided to send Dean a text._

_C: Dean are you awake?_

_Cas only had to wait a few minutes before Dean responded back._

_**D: I am now**_

_Cas chuckled as he read Deans short response._

_C: Good because thanks to your little history horror lesson so am I._

_**D: What, did u see some soldiers?**_

_C: I wish because that's a lot better than being hung from a tree._

_**D: Shit Cas I'm sorry. didn't mean to give u nightmares man.**_

_C: Well you did so you should be sorry_

_**D: I could come over if u want**_

_C: Would you? I don't want to make uncomfortable but I am kinda freaked out and it's kinda your _

_fault._

_**D: Sure Cas just give me a few minutes I'll be over there. Mom and dad won't care just ok it with your dad.**_

_C: He won't care._

_A few minutes later Cas heard the roar of the impala pull up. He tried to hide the smile that crossed his lips at the thought of Dean staying here, in his bed. He ran downstairs maybe a little faster then he should have, considering he almost feel going down… twice. The rail saved him. Thank god that would have been a bit embarrassing. He opened the back door before Dean had even got to it, slightly out of breath but played it off well._

_They headed upstairs to Cas's room. "I'm really sorry Cas I didn't mean to give you nightmares." Dean said almost looking sad._

"_It's ok Dean" Cas smiled "I can make you a pallet if you're not comfortable on the bed. It's up to you."_

"_The bed's fine" Dean answered trying to ignore the small blush rising in his cheeks._

"_Kay" Cas said climbing back into bed in just his boxers. He tried to not listen to the sounds of Deans movements behind him as Dean undressed down to his boxers. Cas felt the bed sink beside him, and his breath caught as Dean's sent engulfed him. He tried to push the thought that were running through this mind away, knowing that no good would come from them._

"_Night Cas" Dean mumbled beside Cas almost asleep again._

"_Goodnight Dean, thanks for coming over" Cas barely whispered. "Anytime" was Dean's response just seconds before he was asleep. Cas laid there beside Dean listening to his friend's shallow breaths for awhile before the bed shifted beneath him and an arm was placed around his waist pulling him closer. Cas felt something dancing around in his stomach as Dean's breath tickled the back of his neck. He was fighting a mental battle in his head, a part of him wanted to give in and enjoy the calmness and warmth that he felt being in Dean's arms and the other part kept telling himself that Dean was asleep and probably thought he was Lisa or something. Surely they slept together all the time. He couldn't help the jealousy that he felt at that thought. He continued to mentally debate with himself but soon the warmth and calmness that was Dean, drew him into a peaceful sleep filled with dreams of his best friend._

_Cas was slightly woken by Dean gently moving away from Cas. He involuntarily shuddered at missing warmth as Dean withdrew himself completely. Cas rolled over trying to find some of the warmth that left when Dean moved, and whimpered when it couldn't be found. He slowly opened his eyes to see the beautiful Dean Winchester standing beside the bed, still in just his boxers, looking down at him, smiling. "What?" he mumbled up at Dean._

"_Nothing Cas. It's only six why don't you go back to sleep?"_

"_Why don't you?" Cas responded. He heard Dean sigh and climbed back into the bed and automatically moved toward Dean's warmth. Dean sighed again but placed an arm under Cas's head as he cozied into to Dean's side, placing his head on his chest._

_Cas laid there listening to Dean's heart beat for a few moments before Dean spoke. "Don't you dare say a word. Dean Winchester does not cuddle with his friends so nothing ok."_

_Cas let a small chuckle escaped his lips before he said "But you do, all night apparently."_

"_You're special" Dean said with just a touch of embarrassment touching his gentle voice._

"_Special how?" Cas quietly asked._

"_Just special" was all Dean said before they both fell back asleep._

Cas was pulled back the present by a knock on his bedroom door. He opened it to see Benny standing there. "Hey there Cassie, wanna go to the diner get some food maybe freak out a few more people with your unknown sexuality."

Cas smiled at his boyfriend, "Yeah just give me a minute to change I didn't realize I was still in this suit."

"Sure thing Babe." Benny smiled still looking at Cas.

"You're not gonna leave are you?"

"Nope, let's just say I wanna see the rest of my work again." He laughed fully knowing that Cas didn't care if he watched the beautiful angel undress.

Cas sighed as he started taking off the suit slowly enjoying the changing looks on Benny's face and his blue eyes growing darker by the moment. Cas unbuttoned his shirt in slow knowing movements and allowed it to slip to the floor. Cas grabbed the hem of his white undershirt and pulled it over his head. He turned so his back was facing and glanced over his shoulder as he unbuttoned his pants and slipped them down over his ass. Smiling as Benny let out a low moan. He disappeared into his closet for a moment before reappearing fully clothed. Benny crossed the room to him and smiled before running his hands over the beautiful tattooed arms and placed his lips against Cas's. "I'm glad you're here Benny" Cas said as they pulled apart "But I'm kinda hungry now that you've said something. C'mon" he grabbed Benny's hand and led him downstairs and out the door to his Bentley.


End file.
